Awhile back, there was some US/Canada pride showing itself on one of the threads, so I thought I'd try and stoke that some more. Came across this:

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Three Canadians and three Americans are travelling by train to a hockey game. At the station, the three Americans each buy a ticket,
while the Canadians purchase only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket ?" asks one of the Americans.

"Watch and you'll see," replies one of the Canadians.

They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats, while all three Canadians cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "ticket please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Americans see this and agree it was a very clever idea.

So after the hockey game, they decide to copy the Canadians on the return trip home and save some money (being clever with money and all that other stuff that makes Americans so superior).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the trip home. To their astonishment, the Canadians don't buy even a single ticket for the train ride home.

"How are you guys gonna travel without a ticket ?" asks one perplexed American.

"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the stupid Canadians.

When they board the train, the three Americans cram into a bathroom and the three Canadians cram into another bathroom nearby.

Once the train leaves the station, one of the Canadians leaves and walks over to the bathroom where the three Americans are hiding, knocks on the door, and says, "ticket please."

And that's why Canada won GOLD ! !

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Not the ending you were expecting, eh?

While we are posting jokes how about this one:

A Canadian, an American and a Swede were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of alcohol, while enjoying cheering on their teams in Olympic hockey. All of a sudden, the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the alcohol, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By another stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Swede fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip
went through. The Swede had to be carried away bleeding and
crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The American was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after
watching the scene, said: "All right! Please fix two pillows on my
back."
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the
whip went through again, leaving the American crying in pain.

The Canadian was the last one up (he had finished off the
entire crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to
him and said: "You support the greatest hockey team in the world, your
country has the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you
may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal highness", the Canadian replies.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not
20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful
man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his
face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second
wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the American to my back so he can get his *** whooped again."

Yee-Haw!!!

Must have been a Canadian train conductor who fell for the one ticket.

And the the sheik said, "what American?" because the stupid Canadian who went last didn't realize the other two had been released.